Simple steps to settle an overactive brain; it’s all about balance

I am diagnosed Autistic and self-diagnosed ADHD, and balancing those two aspects of my brain can be tough. It helps me to get that balance if I can include simple routines in my day/week. Just enough, not too much.

If you get too focused on routine, then this can give you just more rules to try and stick to. Conversely, if you don’t have any routine at all, you may find yourself with that constant feeling you have forgotten something!

Stay focused on the benefits

Key benefits from routine:

1. Satisfaction from ticking off a complete task (you know you love it!)

2. Reassurance that you won’t forget to do the task

3. Improved physical health from regular vitamins/exercise/eating well

4. Freeing up your mind to do the things you enjoy, boosting your mood

5. Allowing time for mindfulness

6. Freeing up time to relax, knowing you’ve got the must do jobs covered

7. Can help reduce occurence of Autistic burnout

Your health will improve

It can be easy to forget the most important things for your own health without a bit of simple management. I had cold after cold over the winter and because I was so wrapped up in being ill, I never stopped to look at my diet.

Once I introduced regular fruit snacks in my day, it made a huge difference to my health. It is not enough for me to just have the fruit in the house, if I don’t factor it in to my day then I don’t get round to eating it. Such a simple thing can be the hardest to remember for the divergent brain.

A relaxed approach still works

Simple things can be the hardest to remember for the neurodivergent brain

A routine doesn’t have to mean a strict timetable, in fact, it doesn’t have to mean a strict anything. The purpose of a routine for me is to ensure I do the things I need to do regularly enough to maintain a healthy balance for my mind and body.

A good example of this is taking vitamins. I could have a reminder on my phone for every morning, but I already have one for my daily medication. It would be a bit much trying to take those tablets at the same time as my vitamins, especially on an empty stomach.

I make sure that I do things a certain way every morning so I know I will end up opposite my vitamins, making it easier to remember to take them. I make sure that once I have filled my water bottle for the day, I put it beside the tablets. I may not take them then and there, but I have to stand opposite them to grab my bottle which is a nice, gentle reminder.

You may say this isn’t a routine, as such, but it is doing things in the same way to create a guaranteed repetition of a task. Isn’t that what routines are all about?

Reduce the chance of Autistic burnout

I’ve only just learnt about Autistic burnout and it can be easily confused with generally feeling run down to full blown flu. Neurodivergent brains have so much more to think about as we try to fit in to the neurotypical way of being; it tires us out. I have struggled with it all my life and never knew why. I’ve had real issues getting over colds and feeling hungover after a social gatherings even though I haven’t drunk any alcohol.

My life is so much easier having some order to it and I even allow for those Autistic burnout days which I know will happen. I can adjust my tasks so on those days, the list is blank. I can relax knowing I’ve already planned to get my tasks done and this day is purely to look after myself and get the rest I need.

Allow time for Mindfulness

It’s all about showing your mind that it does deserve a break

I’ve been taking some time out each day to practice mindfulness. This is something I factor in after lunch. It can be a slightly different time each day, but once I’ve had lunch and put my little boy down for his nap, then that’s when I do it. This is a routine I don’t need to write down or remind myself of because the more I do it, the more my mind starts to prepare itself.

Mindfulness is not an easy thing to do for anyone, but is particularly challenging for the ADHD brain. I have accepted that I can probably only get down to one thought at a time, but this can feel incredibly calming when you are used to having an overwhelming number of thoughts.

I have also found that counting each breath up to ten and then starting again gives me some moments of complete calm. I even use this technique in the night if I can’t get back to sleep or if I am waiting in line somewhere. It’s all about showing your mind that it does deserve a break.

Choose your battles

As long as your surroundings are functional then let the small things slide

My ADHD brain can struggle with keeping a tidy house and, as much as I do my best, I don’t want to put too much energy into something I find so exhausting. Instead, I make sure that the items I need to use for regular tasks are always in the same place. This may not be all that aesthetically pleasing, but if a notepad needs to go on the arm of the sofa to remind me to review my online grocery order, then that’s where it will go.

I personally find the task of finding a home for lots of small, random items the hardest thing in the world! A gathering of items like a pen, sticky tape, a broken off piece of toy that needs fixing, and some cough sweets will stay gathered for weeks in our house!

There are too many decisions involved as to where to keep each item and which one to put away first. To me this is not a big issue as none of the items are important. I can also use my Autistic visual memory to locate them when the day comes they are needed.

My point is that you have to choose your battles and a lot of being neurodivergent can involve fighting to get it to work in a neurotypical way, which is exhausting.

As long as your surroundings are functional then let the small things slide. This is where those small details for the important items really help.

Limit your physical reminders

I mentioned before that constant feeling you have forgotten something. This may be the ADHD brain knowing that it has a tendency to forget or the Autistic brain feeling anxious, but either way, if it is happening a lot then think about what those items are and focus on them.

I do find having a reminder app on my phone incredibly helpful for these types of tasks. The tasks that come up when someone mentions them you and you think to yourself “I won’t remember that unless I write it down”. Those are the ones to set a reminder for.

To make sure you don’t end up with a 20 item list for each day, I like to leave some things down to my memory on purpose. You have to decide what works for you, but I don’t tend to forget if I make plans a week in advance, so I don’t put them in the diary.

It’s highly unlikely I would forget, and if I did, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. It’s good to give your memory some exercise, and a confidence boost, knowing you don’t have to completely rely on reminders.

Have set days

Make sure it is for mundane tasks that just need doing

Having set days for certain tasks may feel a bit like how your granny did things, but I would recommend it. Make sure it is for mundane tasks that just need doing. It is because they are mundane that you don’t want to waste any more time than you have to thinking about them.

I know I will never do certain chores as regularly as needed, so I choose a select few that enhance my life by doing them regularly. They are then the ones I do on a certain day, or every other week on a certain day.

All of these techniques are to ensure your mind is free to focus on thoughts that will enhance your life or give you peace of mind. If you get a moment to yourself or a breather in your day, it is so important to use that time to unwind.

Do what works for you

Think about those tasks you know boost your mood and wellbeing and include them in your routine

My particular routines may seem unnecessary to the outsider, but I have noticed a huge increase in my physical and mental health since starting. I remember to write in my therapeutic journal every day which is so important for my mental health. It could easily get forgotten as something that doesn’t need doing, but I choose to include this in my routine.

Think about those tasks you know boost your mood and well-being and include them in your routine. Start with just two tasks a day and have a physical reminder, or just decide on a regular time of day. It doesn’t have to be a strict time with an alarm to remind you, and the more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Routine for the divergent brain is like giving yourself the day off: you can go with the flow because you know you won’t forget what’s important!