I wouldn’t swap the way my mind works for anything; it’s who I am

This article embraces and celebrates the wonderful way the neurodivergent mind works. There are many times that it can work against us. This is mainly an issue due to society’s expectations of behaviour as opposed to being an issue for us. If you are born with a neurodivergent mind then you have no choice in the matter and I, like many others, choose to see this as a good thing over all.

1. Hyperfocus

This is one of my favourite benefits as it feels like a superpower. It can be different for everyone but, for me, it allows me to delve into an unlimited imagination when I write and create a whole world in an instant.

Another benefit of hyperfocus is attention to detail. I have had many jobs which required this in the job description but due to my imposter syndrome I never quite realised what my ability meant.

I worked in accounting for a few years and I would spot an error without particularly knowing why. I could just see that it didn’t look quite right. This is when I first started to realise that I had a talent with numbers. It’s pretty crazy that having completed a degree in Economics, I didn’t already realise this; that’s imposter syndrome for you!

Unfortunately, the ability to hyperfocus can be mistaken for the opposite; not concentrating. We don’t always have a choice on what we hyperfocus on. This is especially an issue at school age when we are most required to focus our attention on specific topics throughout the day.

I am self-diagnosed Autistic and ADHD and have the inattentive kind. This led to me being seen as a girl with her head in the clouds. What was actually happening was my head was processing the lesson before at school or creating a story that would likely never be told.

2. Broad-minded

This may seem like an unusual choice but I believe this is one of the biggest benefits to having a neurodivergent mind. We are born with an innate acceptance of all others. We have an affinity with those that are visibly different and have a strong urge to be kind towards anyone who appears to be on the outside.

I started masking at a very young age so I didn’t appear as an outsider. I was never on the inside, however, I was definitely more of an inbetweener. Even though I had a friendship group which accepted me, I always knew that I was accepted for the masked version of myself. I never forgot who I was inside and this is why I always reached out to the child on the outside who may have had no friends.

I still feel this way and it is only since I have come to my own conclusion of being neurodivergent that I understand why. My ability to mask has meant I have been able to pass as a relatively normal member of society and follow its expected life’s path. I am glad I have been able to do this but it has come at a price from all the exhausting masking I have had to do.

I have complete empathy for people who don’t have the option to mask and are not able to live as an accepted member of society

From a young age, I was so shocked to learn in history all the times that certain groups have been persecuted just for: the colour of their skin, their religion or simply looking different. It was always a topic I chose to explore in the hope I could make sense of it. I never have and probably never will.

3. Strong sense of identity

This may seem counter-intuitive when I have just described that I mask to cover my true self but that’s the whole point. I have such a strong sense of my own identity and have done for as long as I can remember that I have had to mask it so no one notices. If I lost this strong sense of identity then I wouldn’t need to mask.

There have been many times in my life when just changing who I am to fit in would have been infinitely easier than masking, but it isn’t a choice I can make. I am proud of this fact and it is probably why many neurodivergent children come across as mature beyond their years.

We don’t follow the crowd and we don’t copy other people’s ideas; we don’t need to

We do copy people’s body language, intonation and common phrases so we can pass as normal but that is different to copying what people actually do. This leads me on to my next point.

4. Never feel jealous

This may seem like a bold statement but it’s true. It has been the cause of bullying towards me throughout my life. I don’t get jealous and it can drive people mad. You can get a bigger house than me, go on nicer holidays even get the job I want and I won’t feel jealous.

The reason for this is that we are completely autonomous. We don’t look to others for anything that would help us live a happy life. We are self-contained and have everything we need in our own mind.

It is a great way to live, not needing the approval of others to validate our achievements. It means that if someone achieves something that we want to achieve ourselves, we can be happy for that person as it has no impact on our ability to achieve the same thing.

It is a quality that makes us a really good friend to have. We will always be happy for you and only want you to be happy. The downside is that we can see if someone is not being authentic and pretending they are happy.

5. Appreciate the simple things

I still get excited when I see a squirrel scurrying past in the woods

I remember showing this excitement to a colleague and she just looked at me and frowned. She didn’t mean anything by it but just couldn’t hide her confusion at my enthusiasm from seeing a squirrel. At the time, I just added this information to the file in my brain labelled “things not to show” and never showed that enthusiasm again. I still feel it every single time though.

This is the benefit of having young children. I am now able to be as enthusiastic as I like about the wonders of nature and I just look like a great mum who is invested in her children’s learning. I am that too of course!

This level of joy for the simplest of things has stayed at the same level throughout my life. It has got me through some of my toughest times and I am confident it will never leave me. I can still enjoy the feeling of grass between my toes like it’s the first time and will always get excited by finding my first shiny conker of the season. I know I am not alone in this and it is of course not exclusive to the neurodivergent mind but I don’t think the neurotypical mind can quite match the level that we experience, it never fades.

Not all a bed of roses!

There are downsides to all of these five characteristics of course. There are certainly days where it feels that those downsides are winning the fight and I just wish my mind was neurotypical and I could function like a normal person.

Overall, the balance tips towards me always wanting to stay neurodivergent

We definitely experience more lows than the average person but I am pretty sure we also experience more highs and when we do, we feel them all the more strongly.